Wednesday, October 24, 2012

I can't decide if Home Depot hates me or thinks I'm delightful

Last night in Home Depot:

Friendly HD* Helper: Can I help you find something?

Me: Yes, actually that would be great. I'm looking for robot arms.

Friendly HD Helper: (looks confused as I make robot arm motions that look less like a robot and more like one of those blow up air dancer things) Is this for a Halloween costume?

Me: It probably makes sense that it should be, but no. I'm just in the market for robot arms (still making gangly robot arm motions). If it makes you feel better though, we can say they are for Halloween.

Friendly HD Helper: (nods head because he is taking all of this super seriously)

Me: I should clarify that no one is wearing the robots. They are free standing. I'm actually going to be battling them. They're evil robots.

Friendly HD Helper: What's your budget for these robots? I mean, is money an issue?

Me: I'm building prop robots. I'd like to spend as little money on this as possible.

Friendly HD Helper: All right. I know just the thing.

Me: Excellent.

Friendly HD Helper: We have dryer ducts. They're cheap and would probably make great robot arms.

Me: (examining box) Do you have more than just this box?

Friendly HD Helper: That should be more than enough. I mean, it stretches out like eight feet!

Me: Yeah, I'm going to need another box.

Friendly HD Helper: (quizzical look)

Me: I have a lot of robots to fight, but I have a sword and a gun, so no worries.

Friendly HD Helper: That's good to know.

Me: Thanks so much for your help.

Friendly HD Helper: Good luck with the robots. I hope you win!

*HD is short for Home Depot, not High Definition, though he was a real person so his features were well defined.


  1. Who doesn't want fighting robots? Just make sure they don't come to life and kill you while you are sleeping.

  2. Did you win?? If you don't reply I'll come and find you and try and dig you out of the wreckage....