Monday, November 19, 2012

7 Things I Wish People Smarter Than Me Would Invent

1. Beaming. If there's anything I've learned from watching Star Trek it's that beaming is probably the most efficient means of travel. Apparition (ala Harry Potter) is probably as efficient, but requires magic as opposed to beaming, which just requires science. How have we not invented this yet? I want to know who is working on this so I can donate money or start a march or 5k run.

2. Hover Shoes. Doesn't that sound like waaayyy too much fun?

3. A Robot. Not the evil kind or the kind that starts off as good but then turns red and tries to kill me (yeah, I've seen your movies, Will Smith), but the good kind of robot that always stays good and makes me dinner, cleans my shower (I HATE cleaning my shower) and will be the perfect companion during the Zombie Apocalypse because I will train it to fight and zombies won't go after it because it doesn't have a brain!

4. Time Stoppers. Not a time turner like Hermione had, but something that actually stops time for a little while so I can take a nap or...actually, I just want it to take naps.

5. Self-Driving Cars. I know Google is working on this, but I wish they would hurry up. My commute would be a thousand times better if I could do it while napping in the back of my car or pouring myself a cocktail and shouting, "Avoid I-35, the traffic is crazy there this time of night!" Of course, if we could get on the beaming, we could save the environment and skip this one all together!

6. Self-Cleaning Clothes. I have somehow regressed in my adulthood and have to visit the laundromat for every load (which is usually at least 4 because I will wait until my VERY last pair of underwear to go). I am usually short on quarters and the laundromat doesn't even have wifi so I can't read my NY Times. This would be a million times easier if my clothes would just clean themselves. Come on, scientists.

7. Mute Button. Most of the time I enjoy my day job as an elementary school teacher. Other times I wish I had a mute button because they NEVER STOP TALKING! I assume parents would also appreciate this invention as these kids eventually leave my classroom and go talk loudly and with no regard to others elsewhere.


  1. Love! Especially no. 7! and no. 1, definitely. I think I would like to invent clothes that adjust to the right temperature so that I don't have to carry around a crazy amount of layers with me because it's cold in the morning and sunny by lunchtime and then rainy in the afternoon.

  2. That's pretty genius. I am ALWAYS cold no matter how many sweaters I put on. Clothes that adjust automatically would make my life SO much better!